Friday, August 7, 2009

Dear Mack - Month 17 & 18

Dear Maverick,

Happy 17 & 18 months to you my lovely dear boy. It has been a challenging couple of months for us as we adjust to life with our newest family member. You are now a full two months into being a big brother and after a very rough patch when I had to go away to the hospital we are coming to the other side in fine form.

It simply broke my heart that I knew you did not understand where and why I was so suddenly gone. I am so sorry for that. I would never ever leave you by my own choice. I know you won't remember it, but it was really rough on your mommy. I hated every second of it and watching you struggle with it was perhaps the hardest parenting moment I have had to date.

But you did come to see me almost every day at the hospital and we slowly worked through it so you would sit with me for a while and eat my special hospital ice and that was just the best. You were in very capable hands however and are adjusting mostly well to what I am calling Attention Detox. You see while your cousins and nanny were in charge there was not a minute of your awake life that was not spent playing chase, doing crafts, swimming, cuddling, being carried everywhere and generally having your every whim and desire being catered to.

You were a rock star.

And now that I am home and we are settling in and I have another little person permanently attached to my body pretty much 24/7 and cannot carry you around the world as if you were the King of Siam, you definitely had to get through your disillusionment at the new status quo around here. Ahhh...but those were the good ol' days...

You grew so much while I was away. It is like I came home to another child. You were taller. You spoke more. You played harder. You ran faster. Oh yeah...and somewhere in the time I was gone, you discovered and fell in love with "outside".

I can't say precisely when you suddenly went from being content to look through the sliding glass doors at the world to needing more than anything to go outside and touch all of it. But at this point, getting outside is basically the goal of your entire existence. Every day, from the moment you wake up we have our first conversation about going outside. This would be fine except that you have decided to embrace the great outdoors in JULY. In the middle of triple digit temperatures and it is simply hot, hot HOT!...not that this phases you.

I am not going to sugarcoat this for you Maverick. This is very challenging for me. I am not really a super outdoorsy kind of girl. I never have been. I have delusions of being one, but when push comes to shove, I like the Four Seasons, air conditioning and concierge service. I have lots of athletic hiking, swimming, biking, sport-playing friends, and I love them, but I am more of a spectator than participator in these events. I also do not think we need to discuss camping right now either, because I fear than if you hear it is possible to sleep outside, you will start trying to drag your crib out there. But whether I am melting or not, we spend a lot of time outside together and it really is quite fun. It makes me thankful that I finally got around to landscaping the backyard before you arrived so that we have a magical place to spend that time together - even if it is as hot as blazes out there.

Meanwhile we are settling in to this two-kid-home-dom quite well. You are definitely not sure what to make of this little brother business, but I hold out great hope that you two will ultimately be the best of friends. You love to give Radley kisses and hugs...

and I think you have made it your personal mission to make sure he has a paci constantly whether he wants one or not...

Occasionally you like to pat him a tad bit harder than I would like...

or poke him in some of his softer spots to see what happens. (normally, he takes it quite well)

But you try to poke him a lot...

There are moments that are crazy chaotic and then there are others that make it so so worth every second of those frustrating times. Many times in the early mornings and just before bed in the evenings I find myself in a pile with you two boys in my big pregnancy recliner on the receiving end of the most precious smiles, coos, snuggles, giggles & kisses ever and nothing in the whole entire world matters as much as staying there with the two of you for as long as you can stand it before some other pressing matter crashes the moment. Soon someone needs a diaper change or Radley needs to change sides or it is finally night night time for you or you have something you must go do on your toddler agenda...but for those fleeting precious moments with our tangle of arms and legs snuggled up on the life. is. perfect.

I love you so much baby boy,

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

I love this letter. Man, I miss you. Hope we can see each other in Texas in December.

Love you!